Confessions of a (Closet) Woodsman

I think I’m what some may call a closet woodsman. 

And this makes sense to me…

This morning I was telling my wife and daughter about my plan for getting some more firewood.

Yesterday as I was driving out of our neighborhood, I saw that someone had placed cut up pieces of a tree near the road for pick up by the waste management people. 

The wood was from a tree that was cut down, and cut into short lengths…making it easier to get out to the road. All of it was stacked neatly in little piles. It was the perfect length for firewood. Though it may need to be split to work best, which is no big deal.

In the evening as I was returning home, I saw the man wheeling more pieces…larger pieces of the same length, out to the street on a cart.

It was just starting to get dark and I had dress clothes on, so I passed by, but thought about coming back to get the wood. Or as much as I could fit into the back of my CUV.

My wife was also on her way home with our kids so I let the thought go.

But this morning, I woke up with the great idea to go and get some of  this already cut to length wood.

You see, we moved into our current home a few years back. This home has a wood fireplace. The part of Florida I live in, not too many homes have fireplaces. It’s mostly too hot all year round…except for in the winter time. For reference, it’s not uncommon for the temperature to be the 80s in December.

After a couple of years in the home we started using the fireplace. I collect wood throughout the year, let it dry out (cure) for a year or two, and when it does get cold, we burn the wood in the fireplace that’s been curing.

So far this year, I’ve used a good bit of the wood that’s been piled up in the barn drying out. 

Earlier this year, I acquired some logs that people placed at the roadside from a tree that they cut down.

Most often, when someone cuts a tree down, the resulting logs are too big and heavy for me to manage by myself, so I’m limited by what I can pick up and load.

When I saw the shorter, more manageable logs sitting out by the road, I got excited.

My plan, as I described it to my wife and daughter, was to go collect some of the logs as soon as it was light enough this morning.

I laid the second row seats down in my vehicle, placed a tarp in the cargo area, got my gloves, and put a sweatshirt on (hey, it was 50 degrees this morning!).

I got in my car and drove to where I saw all of this nicely cut future firewood. As I approached, I could hardly believe what I saw…

All of the wood was gone!

Every last log, limb, and branch.

Nothing was left. 

Sometime between 5:30 in the evening and 7:30 in the morning, someone else had collected all of the wood.

I set out to get firewood for next year, or the year after. I didn’t want to return home empty-handed.

Where I live, it’s fairly rural. I’ve found firewood in the past by riding my bike around a very large block in my neighborhood. Once I find some, I go back with my CUV and load up what I can. Again, limited by the weight of the logs I can reasonably manage.

It’s been over a year since I rode my bike at all, so I’ve missed out on any wood placed by the roadside. 

On my way home from  discovering all of the short, neatly stacked wood gone, I drove around the same block I used to ride my bike around. Near the end of the long loop, I did find some wood.

It was a tree that someone cut down and placed near the roadside for pickup. But this was a mess of limbs, branches, leaves, and a few logs…

Long heavy logs!

I turned my car around, scoped the pile out. Then repositioned my vehicle so the hatch opened near the pile and I had to do as little dragging of the logs as possible.

 There was a larger log in the ditch. I went to it first. I tried picking up one end and discovered it was heavy. Maybe too heavy. And it was in the ditch. I’d have to get it out of the ditch…too much work, too heavy…better leave it, I thought.

I found a nice three foot section of log that was easy to pick up and load.

Next I found a seven foot long log that wasn’t too thick. I was able to wrangle it up and around and get it into the back of my car.

I took a short breather. 

If you’ve ever moved freshly cut logs or limbs, you know that they are heavy. Very dense. A short section that looks manageable might weigh a couple hundred pounds.

Now that I was warmed up. I reanalyzed the log in the ditch. There was no water in the ditch, but it would require rolling the heavy log up the side of the shallow channel.

I picked up one end of the log to position it to roll in the right direction. 

With a good amount of effort, I rolled the dense piece of wood up near the rear of my vehicle.

Another breather. 

Now what? I thought.

This thing was far too heavy for me to pick up all by myself. How was I to get it into the back of my car?

I decided I would pick up one end of the log (with a tremendous amount of force).

I would then place the end near the entrance of the cargo area. Next I would pick up the other end and slide the log into my vehicle.

The plan was simple. The execution was more involved.

Picking up one end of the log to waist height is one thing. 

Hard, yes. But I was able to do it.

Moving while holding this amount of weight, and being careful not to destroy my car in the process, is another thing altogether. 

Getting the “lighter” end of the log up and placed at the mouth of the cargo area was only half of my struggle.

The harder part was picking up the heavier end of the log (after another breather). Then “inching” the whole thing into my car. To say the log slid into the cargo area wouldn’t be accurate.

To be honest, I was only able to get the log about half way into my car. 

I pulled the liftgate down until it touched the log and slowly drive home.

It was quite a workout. Only three logs.

But I returned home with firewood!

Getting the logs out was a little less difficult. The larger log still required a good amount of effort to safely remove from my trunk.

It was a good morning workout. 

I realize most people wouldn’t go through this much trouble just for firewood. At best they may buy firewood. Or have someone bring them firewood.

I kind of enjoyed it. I now have more firewood for next year, maybe the year after – it depends on how long it takes to dry out.

At some point, I’ll use a chainsaw to cut the logs to proper length. Then the short sections will get stacked in the barn, out of the weather to dry out completely.