I started this blog some years ago, the day that Michael T died. Michael Thomas Wolfe was my nephew, my older brother’s firstborn son.
I want to go back to a memory that I think is one of the funniest things in the world involving Michael T.
Decades before…
And this was when most of my older family members were still alive…
My father’s parents, my grandparents on his side, were from Kentucky. And really, I love that food, the Southern cooking – it’s not particularly healthy, but it’s delicious. And I fell in love with it.
But any family gatherings, my grandmother would hold. All the family members would be there. My father’s sister and his brother. And, of course my family, which I had lots of brothers and sisters.
At the time, my grandfather was still alive. My great grandmother was still alive. So this is when my grandmother, she would always hold these family gatherings at her home. And it was just an abundance of food. That was one of the things, it didn’t matter what the family gathering was, there was plenty of food, lots of different foods. Family was there and it was a great time.
This particular instance, Granny Francis was there which was my father’s grandmother. So my grandmother on his side, it was her mother. Now her second husband was deceased. I never did meet either of them. But my great grandmother was there. My grandfather was still alive and in good health. So this is before he had health decline and my grandmother could no longer do the family functions. But my great grandmother was there. My grandfather was there. My grandmother, my older brother Thomas, and his wife, his firstborn son (Michael T). So this goes back like I said, a couple of decades.
Well, more than that now, but at the time, and so Michael T was still in diapers, maybe about a year old, somewhere around in there. And you know, of course I was I was still a teenager at the time because Thomas was seven years older than I was.
The family is all sitting out on the carport, either before or after the lunch. I don’t remember what the occasion was or the exact time period. Great grandmother was out there. And everybody was out there. And they were commenting on Thomas’s son, Michael T, and how fast he was growing. And someone asked, I think it was Aunt Judy. You know, she says, “well, boy he’s growing fast. And what do you feed him?” And so right at that time, my grandfather walked through the front door and said “grits”. And it was the funniest thing, because he had kind of a dry sense of humor. And for him to just walk into the conversation and for one… Okay, who feeds babies grits? Right, you know. And other things. My brother’s wife, Dawn, was kind of, I won’t to say horrified but shocked at this statement because the question was asked about him “well, he’s growing quite fast. What do you feed him?” And grandpa walks out and he just says grits she says like, “No, we don’t feed him grits?”
Now, right around that same time, my great grandmother, because Michael T was wanting, you know, to eat something. So everybody had food, or whatever it was, and so he’s going around and he looked like he was hungry. And so my great grandmother, you know, bless her heart. She’s saying “give him some chicken, give him some chicken” and Dawn was like, “no, no, we’re not feeding him chicken. He doesn’t eat chicken yet. He’s not…”
So it was one of the funniest things and I always was fond and have fond memories of those family gatherings.
Shortly after that, my grandfather started to decline in health. Of course he didn’t live the healthiest lifestyle for different reasons I won’t get into now. One of which is that mountain home cooking, which is delicious, that I mentioned. Among others, he had some bad habits. But at the time in his generation, in his time, it was normal. Okay, so that was the time period he lived in and grew up in. So, carried those bad habits into old age.
Not too long after that he started to have health problems and decline in health. Grandmother had to stay and tend to him, you know, pretty much all the time, and she no longer held the functions at her home. She never really came to the functions anymore because my grandfather couldn’t come in, you know, he went through a series of hospital visits and declining health before he ultimately passed.
And since my grandmother and grandfather would always bring granny Francis, you know, around that same time she stopped coming, and eventually she passed away of course, to just through old age and decline.
But it’s one of the fondest memories. I don’t know if families really do that anymore, or to the same extent, you know, and what. Now my mother, now that all my grandparents are deceased so my parents now have kind of taken up that that task of the family get togethers on Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, now Christmas and also Easter, since grandma Hazel recently passed away. But it’s just not the same.
I have fond memories of those – just thought about it this morning. And it would make an interesting post, a good post, to kind of reflect back because it’s been… seven years since I started this, this blog with the first post being and “Michael T died today”. With the realization you know, of course, it’s everywhere and you hear it quoted all the time that tomorrow is promised to no one.
You really do not know when your time will come…
No one does, even at a young age like that. So you know “live all the time that you live”, I always say that and I try to live that – good, bad and otherwise.
Some days are better than others. We’re human. Nobody is perfect and we have bad days we have good days.
So you know enjoy the time that you do have even the bad times. Hang on to those good loving memories, those fond memories, whatever those are for you. And make a note of it. I listened to something yesterday and the speaker, the presenter, one of the points they made was “legacy is not what you leave people, but it’s what you leave in people” and I don’t think enough people really take the time to put down in writing or audio or video form.
You know, of course, years ago that was the photo album and the family photo album. But a lot of people don’t really document and capture those memories for generations to come. Even in my in my own family. It’s really I won’t say sad, but I’d like to have more memories. You know who these people were.. my forefathers and great, great, great grandfather’s and so on and so forth.
But live all the time that you live…
Make it a great one.